» Ghosts of Birthdays Past, Present, and Future
21/09/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
Happy Birthday to Me! Friday the 13th, back in the day, Kanela came out laughing hysterically at some "inside"joke. Doctors were mildly amused.(only recently have they been in touch with their funny bones). Mom giggled groggily and Dad raised me up, Rafiki like, in his extended arms and presented me to the fluorescent lights. So from the.. Read The Rest of The Story
» From Piggy Bank to Swiss Bank
14/09/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
Pig in a Panic! You may be wondering what it will take to turn the banking industry around. I don't claim to have all the answers, but my Piggy Bank has turned his back on me. This drastic attitude was a long time coming. I believe it started when deposits were no longer filling his belly. Mellon and then Citizens swayed me to feed their.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Menehunes
07/09/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
Are you a believer? Menehunes are the Hawaiian equivalent of leprechauns. Both are diminutive creatures that exist for those who believe in them. The most famous and tallest menehune was Time Magazines ' 2001 Person of the Year. See if you can guess his name from the following description: he is a playful elf, pot-bellied, hairy (but not.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Intruder Alert!
31/08/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
Sometimes bad things happen to funny people! In 2005, we had a close encounter with a middle of the night intruder in our home. While I slept blissfully unaware of any shenanigans going on (shenanigans is a funny word, intruder is not), our mystery visitor was stealthily running through the house canvassing each room for take-out! Only M.. Read The Rest of The Story
» G-20 at My House
24/08/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
"Welcome to my world. Won't you come on in?" Exactly one month from today, I am hosting the G-20 Pittsburgh Summit at my house. This is a logistics nightmare to the nth power. The Redd-Up Campaign to de-clutter is overwhelming. The Secret Service and Molly Maid house cleaning experts are tag teaming for bugs. Meals will be informal even .. Read The Rest of The Story
» Meet My Assistant, Wolfgang Amadeus
17/08/09 07:00 from Humor With Kanela
The Adventures of a Shaolin Monk Dog, Kwai Chang Canine You may be wondering how I manage to write so profoundly week after week. The answer literally lies on the floor with my four-legged assistant. My faithful companion is my listening public, enforcer of play breaks, and nap mate. I also use him as a furry foot futon. I, in return, am.. Read The Rest of The Story
» A Horse Named Guinness
09/08/09 14:55 from Humor With Kanela
Happy Trails This one's for you, Jim West ! Once upon a "stout"-hearted, soulful-eyed quarterhorse at Rolling Hills Ranch, happy trails beckoned to a group of urban urchins of the 3rd and 4th grade variety and me. While I was enjoying the sound of creaking leather, the feel of raw horse power beneath me and fantasizing about the intrepid.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Stupid Moments
20/06/08 14:01 from Humor With Kanela
YES , I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but the biggest one of all might be revealing them to you. "Why tell Readerland?" you may ask. I may answer, "Because Readerland is there!" Here are a few of my more stellar stupid moments. While vacationing in Lake Worth, Florida one summer day, I forgot to close my wide open car trunk at th.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Survey Slacker
18/06/08 00:30 from Humor With Kanela
Hyundai makes a classy Tiburon, but their marketing people are running on empty. First of all, let me tell you I loathe taking surveys. Even though the South Korean delegation doesn't know this, they sent me a dollar ( well, it was really a "won" ) along with a customer satisfaction survey. I guess they were hoping to entice this custome.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Rx for Employment
23/04/07 02:00 from Humor With Kanela
Please Hire Me! Summer employment for me is like "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up" every year. Last summer I wanted to be a waitress. More on that in a future article tentatively called "Back of the House". I won't reveal whose house it was, but their Smiley cookies, which originally were round and smiley, are now shape shifters. They c.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Strangest, But Almost True!
28/03/07 03:12 from Humor With Kanela
I recently found out I'm not allergic to toxic chemicals. This means I can now drink pesticides without breaking out in a rash. Comment overheard while shopping near the bathing suit department: "Boas are the perfect accessory to wear when swimming!" My favorite radio station often has a contest where the 7th caller wins a great prize. I.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Stranger, But Almost True!
21/03/07 06:05 from Humor With Kanela
"Here's The Thing Two!" I'm often called a Drama Queen by my favorite son of the East, my favorite son of the West (sometimes they're both a wee bit "Wicked"), and my favorite daughter who is often in a different time zone from East and West! What they fail to realize is that I'm telling the truth - almost. So I'll wear my crown proudly .. Read The Rest of The Story
» Strange, But Almost True!
19/03/07 04:12 from Humor With Kanela
"Here's The Thing!" On March 7, 2007, along with Pittsburgh Public School District, Get Go had a 2 hour delay due to snow conditions. Just kidding, Get Go! You dispensed my fat free French Vanilla Cappucchino right on schedule. A caffeine high five to you. Have you tried paying a bill by phone lately? It seems certain companies like Dick.. Read The Rest of The Story
» yahoo.gone
27/02/07 06:51 from Humor With Kanela
Where's My Stuff? So one day, after a 4 month layover at gmail.com, I decided to visit my old e-mail friends at yahoo.com. Imagine my shock and dismay to find all my contacts and messages had gone missing and my account was closed with nary (nary's a funny word) a warning shot, warning shout, or warning shimmy of this hostile takeover. N.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Clipped Coupons
15/07/06 20:42 from Humor With Kanela
The Coupons Bandit My coupons got clipped by some early morning vandals. First of all, I assumed all crooks were asleep by 6 am, which is the time I left my parked car to enter my work building. At 6:45 am, co-workers were asking me if I came to work with a smashed car window. Sure, glass in your butt is just the thing to stay awake duri.. Read The Rest of The Story
» When I Grow Up
30/04/06 03:23 from Humor With Kanela
Teacher Wannabe When I grow up I want to be a teacher. Today is my 7th birthday and Mommy said as one of my presents she's going to sign me up for a pre-Act 48 class. This way I can get lots of practice staying up late doing homework as well as giving homework to my students and correcting it. I'm trying to decide which class to take. It.. Read The Rest of The Story
» No Word From the Romans
15/04/06 02:03 from Humor With Kanela
Article XV By Kanela Roman Meal, Schwebel Baking Company, and their insurance company, Gallagher Bassett Services, Inc. are unsure what to expect from The Consumer Crusade at this time. Actually, we don't know what we're doing yet either. But the word is spreading and the Crusaders are marching. For your marching orders contact Sandra Se.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Boycott Roman Meal Schwebel Baking Company
10/04/06 21:03 from Humor With Kanela
Artictle XIV By Kanela When was the last time you heard the word "boycott"? I believe it's time to use it again against a company that chose to ignore my ultimatum for justice. Schwebel Baking Company's insurance people asked me what I wanted for Mother Rose's unfortunate discovery in her Honey & Oat Bran bread. I said, "$25,000." They sa.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Roman Meal XIII
31/03/06 17:02 from Humor With Kanela
By Kanela Roman Meal's Honey & Oat Bran bread is advertised as "All Natural". What is wrong with these people? I don't consider flexible tubing the size of Texas, that's baked into my bread, to be "natural". It may be an excellent source of fiber but it is not "natural whole grain goodness". Along with 300 mg of sodium, various carbohydra.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Mice Are Not Nice
29/03/06 06:42 from Humor With Kanela
By Kanela I've lived in my childhood home off and on for the past 50 plus years and have encountered two mice. The first was years ago, as a little girl, with tender feelings for "All Creatures Great and Small." My Dad caught that little fellow in a paper bag and I made him promise to take Mickey outside and let him go. To this day, I don.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Does Anyone Else...?
27/03/06 18:01 from Humor With Kanela
By Kanela Perhaps you're like me and wonder about things for years with no answers forthcoming. Well, today's column is finally going to address some of those thought provoking questions. For example, does anyone else wonder why Albanians are always referred to as "Ethnic Albanians"? Not that there's been a lot of press coverage lately ab.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Coloring With Famous People
26/03/06 05:26 from Humor With Kanela
By Kanela "Dancing With the Stars", "Ice Skating With Celebrities", and "American Idol" inspired me to create my own reality TV show. I've decided to call it "Coloring With Famous People" for obvious reasons. Coloring Pages Here's how it works. Famous people from all over the world will send me samples of their coloring abilities. From th.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Beyond Bad Taste
24/03/06 22:07 from Humor With Kanela
Can You Hear Me Now? by: Kanela We are all quite aware of the usual annoying cell phone users: in cars, supermarkets, movies, and restaurants. What I have observed lately has reached a new low of inconsiderate behavior. What phone call is more urgent than the call of nature? I'm talking about people calling me, a complete stranger just s.. Read The Rest of The Story
» Who's Who?
23/03/06 19:49 from Humor With Kanela
by: Kanela Today I am Kanela and will continue to be Kanela until I no longer have teenagers living with me. They would be mortified to be publicly associated with this column. So for now, I will remain anonymous. Unfortunately, that means no flattering pictures of me next to my by-line. Instead I have given my editor permission to use Da.. Read The Rest of The Story
