Seeking some privacy and comfort in a crowded mall to make a phone call, I selected a dormant massage chair. All was well until a chair service person came to check out the furniture (and perhaps me, too). There were six chairs, and all except mine were unoccupied. Since I was talking on the phone, I couldn't carry on a conversation with Mr. Cute Tech Guy. As he was leaving, I heard him say to enjoy the free massage.
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Unpunished Good Deed
Seeking some privacy and comfort in a crowded mall to make a phone call, I selected a dormant massage chair. All was well until a chair service person came to check out the furniture (and perhaps me, too). There were six chairs, and all except mine were unoccupied. Since I was talking on the phone, I couldn't carry on a conversation with Mr. Cute Tech Guy. As he was leaving, I heard him say to enjoy the free massage.
Friday, April 26, 2024
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty-one
So moving forward, I'm going to commission DuPont to design a custom fitted Kevlar Cargo Net outfit to be worn on especially dangerous days. Since I'm smaller than a truck, I don't believe it will be cost prohibitive. I could have chosen nylon instead of Kevlar (too wimpy) or polyester (too itchy) or polypropylene (too polypropyleney). However, polypropylene is resistant to fatigue, and I often get tired, so it was a tough decision.
I purchased a high-backed, leather desk chair on wheels to use in my classroom. It was great for gliding on the tile floor between my desk and computer area. It was not so great for leaning over to retrieve fallen objects. SPLAT! Lying prone in one's classroom lacks dignity. Kevlar Cargo Net could have prevented this spillage. Twice!
Saturday, March 30, 2024
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty
Idiotic Behavior
By special request from my legions of fans (actually 3 friends), I’ve been told it’s been 54 weeks since my last confession (oops, I mean my last posting). Therefore, I will try to write more.
So as I came out of Eat ‘n Park with two of said friends, I found a warning card on my car’s windshield. It informed me that I had parked like an idiot because I was over the painted line. I was parked in a handicapped spot (legally) and two of my wheels were mere inches (slight exaggeration, it may have been a few feet) into the huge area allotted for vans. First of all, what kind of character bullies a handicapped (severe arthritis) person with a ruler? Secondly, it didn’t inconvenience anyone. And thirdly, in addition to parking like an idiot, I sometimes eat like one, too.
Which brings me to my quest to find the anonymous warning card dispenser. If you are the guilty one, I want to take you home with me (especially if you are male, single, a bit over retirement age and cute). You can police any idiotic eating behaviors (and there are many) that I exhibit. I will expect you to stop these behaviors before I “Cross the WW Eating Plan Line”! To paraphrase Johnny Cash, I want you to keep a close watch on this “food” of mine and because you’re mine, I’ll walk the line with 21 extra weekly food points.
In conclusion, I want to thank Mr. Anonymous. My first reaction to his idiocy was anger. Then I was able to put into practice not taking everything so seriously. I was able to laugh at the situation and it gave me something to write about. I’m the type of person that thinks outside the box, colors outside the lines and occasionally parks outside them too. And if I should go over my daily WW points, there’s always tomorrow to get back in alignment.
My Call To Action for all of us on this weight loss journey is: Try not to be an idiot!
Thursday, March 16, 2023
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-nine
Saturday, February 11, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-eight
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-eight
Mismatched By Dobby |
- I'll never be good enough to play my guitar and ukulele in front of anyone except my canine friend, Zeus. (Well, you will if you practice more!)
- I'm never going to reach my Weight Watcher goal. (Concentrate on the finish line, not the finish time!)
- If the product of two negatives equals a positive, does that mean that two negative thoughts are equal to one positive thought, and how do I keep track? (You never understood math, don't try now!)
Wednesday, February 01, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-seven
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-seven
Monday, January 23, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-six
Wednesday, December 28, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-five
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-Five
Friday, October 28, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four
Saturday, October 22, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-three
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-three
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-two
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-two
Friday, September 09, 2022
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-one
Mice Are Not Nice: Part Deux
Wednesday, November 03, 2021
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty
Thursday, December 31, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-nine
Change is in the winds and clouds. To quote Mary Poppins: Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin.
Can you feel the shift in the air pressure? Are you anticipating the possibilities of a new year? Will you embrace change?
The first change that is happening to me on January 1, 2021 (and probably a few other people) is that I will no longer be able to print from my Chromebook to the Cloud. I have been using this feature for years. So instead of sulking and waiting for my brother (and tech guru) who lives 3000 miles away from me, to come to my rescue remotely, and feeling empowered from just watching Wonder Woman 1984, I did my research on adding printers, grabbed my golden Lasso of Truth, donned my golden wings and took the risk of solving my own problem. Successful I was, but not without a few hurdles. The highest hurdle was locating the address of my printer. I rightly assumed it was not the same as mine, even though we live in the same house. The test print worked like a charm and I am now free to face more changes or in military lingo “embrace the suck!”
By the way, I watched WW84 on HBO Max. I just found out I had this app through Comcast. I called Comcast to ask tech support how to access this channel. I waited on hold longer than my wait at Walmart (see previous Chapter Forty-eight), so while waiting, I managed to solve my own problem, but had a relaxing conversation about movies when tech guy answered my call. So I already have two wins and the New Year hasn’t even started yet. “I Am Woman…”
These wins are putting the momentum on my side on this weight loss journey. I did not like the change to virtual WW workshops, so I stopped attending. Big mistake! Look for me at the next virtual meeting in Greensburg with coach extraordinaire, Kathy, on January 9th at 9 am. Mary Poppins told me, “Anything can happen if you let it.”
I received a much desired Erin Condren planner for 2021 as a Christmas gift. I already started planning. In the past, I would have felt like I was getting a head start on not keeping my Resolutions! This is not how the “changed” me feels. I’m setting measurable goals, writing with colorful pens and decorating with stickers. My BF, Mary Poppins, told me “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”
Another west coast brother (I have 3) told me about psychological flexibility as a way of changing one’s mindset in dealing with challenges. More on that later.
Until next time, “I shall stay until the wind changes” or the cloud, and be lighter and happier. That is also my wish for you.
Wednesday, December 30, 2020
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-eight
Stuck In Traffic
Holiday traffic was at a standstill. There were no accidents or icy road conditions. I was not in a food line or Covid test line or a gas line from a previous life. I was in a foot traffic line inside my local Walmart. I was in the “speedy” check-out line with seven items already on the conveyor belt, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but store wide shut- down of all computers. I make a motion to have cash registers in place for emergency use. Besides being manually operative, I believe they are hack proof. Then I won’t have to worry about being a victim of data breach from Cozy Bear (Russians) or anyone else.
I really wanted my seven items, and couldn’t purchase them anywhere else, so I began searching my mind for ways to amuse myself while waiting. I started with people watching. Humans started abandoning full to the brim grocery carts while melty items dripped into puddles. Soon the alcove in front of me started looking like the deserted cars along a highway in a scene from The Stand.
Noise levels started rising as crying children and angry adults (some of them crying also) created a musical cacophony (I like to say “cacophony”). I tried composing a cacophony symphony in my mind. But, alas, I’m not musically inclined.
I began to wonder why management didn’t make some kind of announcement or at least start a sing-a-long to spread some Christmas cheer.
Now hunger pangs were knocking on my door. WW Sandy was practicing mindfulness while her alter ego was considering all the candy bars within reach.
By the half hour mark, I began singing (behind my mask, of course) 525,600 minutes (from Seasons of Love) in order to measure my time in Walmart. Every minute was beginning to feel like a year.
In addition to hunger, I was experiencing other basic needs, but did not want to lose my first in line status. If I left, came back, and resumed my original position in line, would I be not guilty by reason of meltdown. Would other customers start hurling insults or objects at me?
It is now one day away from New Year’s Eve and I am still in the Christmas check-out line. I refuse to leave until the computers return from their vacation.
Until next time, here’s some Weight Watcher advice. Go to Walmart, load up your cart with healthy fruits and veggies, snack on them while you wait for a week in line. When you emerge, you will be 5 pounds lighter and happier. Wishing all of you a lighter 2021!
Saturday, November 21, 2020
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-seven
Thursday, November 05, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-six
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
Chapter Forty-six: Let's Talk Turkey
Wild Turkey |
My research assistant, Zeus, tells me that turkeys may attempt to dominate or attack people they view as subordinates. In other words, they have a pecking order (pun intended). Who would have thought these belligerent birds could be such racists? So here’s my advice to you: Beware of Tom when he puffs up his body and shakes his tail feathers at you. You definitely do not want to be subordinate at this time! (This is his mating dance). Do not let him corner you. Do the turkey trot as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Just hope you can do this faster than 25mph.
I am even more intimidated by dead turkeys! My sister has traditionally hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her house. Due to social distancing and remodeling of her kitchen (Some people will do anything to opt out of hosting duties), I may have to cook the turkey, make all the sides and bake the pies for just Edward the Great and me. I have never made a complete turkey meal myself. How is this WW related you may ask? I will tell you. I have options. I can attempt to make all of the above, but eat small portions. I can call the DoorDash people. I can go to my daughter’s house, and let her deal with the Butterball hotline (1-800-288-8372 or 1-800-BUTTERBALL).
As a last resort, I can stay home and have a Wild Turkey Bourbon liquid meal. My research tells me that it is a combination of high proof, a great price and flavor qualities possibly approaching a perfect storm. Not much fiber in this meal, but it’s Thanksgiving and I’m thankful I do not have to cook.
Until next week or next year (whenever I get around to writing again), Bottoms Up! Repeat this several times and be slap happy! Also, beware of turkeys.
Saturday, July 18, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-five
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
Chapter Forty-five
As an avid reader of books, the type consisting of many pages bound together and protected by a hard cover, I especially miss my weekly trips to the library. Libraries were put into the non-essential business category and were forced to temporarily close their doors. Yes, I’m still reading on my Chromebook and iPhone, but I can honestly say I have never had a problem turning the pages of my real, hand held book. Unlike recently when my computer screen froze and would not allow me to advance the page of the titillating book I was attempting to read. The forward and back arrow keys refused my commands. Full disclosure: I was reading Never Love a Highlander by Maya Banks. Perhaps the steamy Scottish romance fogged up more than my brain, causing my “book” to malfunction.
This is WW related because during this pandemic I find myself just settling in so many ways. My research tells me that settling happens when you feel like you're losing little bits of yourself. Prior to self-isolation, I would be reading new releases by my favorite authors: Patterson, Baldacci, Grishom, Parker, King (sometimes) to name a few. Now the wait list for their ebooks is longer than your journey to Goal.
I’m determined to no longer settle for second best when it is related to my eating habits. No more excuses. I’m going to concentrate on what I can do to lose weight rather than harboring negative thoughts about my current weight.
I’m also back to borrowing books from libraries, relatives and friends. Currently on loan from my East Coast son is Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series. I’m on Book IV of VIII, enjoying them so much and considering “crying my son’s pardon”* when I “forget” to return them.
Note to self: Hoard books for next pandemic or Round Two of the current one.
Until next week, “I wish you longer days and pleasant nights.”* Don’t settle for second best and be happier.
*Credit to The Dark Tower
Friday, April 24, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-four
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
Aloha Friday at 21! |
Chapter Forty-four
It’s getting harder to stay light-hearted during this never ending pandemic with dire warnings about future Covids. I can’t even say I’m going to run away and join a circus anymore, due to lack of circuses. In the past, I used to tell my husband, Edward the Great, that I was going to run away from home, and don’t look for me in Hawaii, my favorite place in the world. Now it’s not even legal to run away. Could running away be considered a necessary trip outside?
During the late 60’s, when I first flew to Waianae, Hawaii on the leeward side of Oahu, to assume my fifth grade teaching position, the biggest problems facing me were a major airline strike and learning to pronounce Hawaiian names. Now I don’t know how I would manage to snorkel wearing a cloth mask. It would probably feel like waterboarding torture.
So fifty years later, on sleepless nights (it’s 2:00 am), I travel back across the Pacific Ocean to visit with my 21 year old self while listening to the Don Ho radio station on Pandora. BTW, I can still sing “Pearly Shells” in Hawaiian! And I often listened to Don Ho perform in person at his nightclub. To ward off panic attacks, I visualize myself lying on the beach at Pokai Bay in my bikini (no need for WW at that time). I can feel the tradewinds playing with my long, BROWN hair. I can smell the heady fragrances of all the exotic tropical plants. I’m traveling again on the Likelike Highway (LEE-kay-LEE-kay) from Honolulu to the windward side of Paradise to visit the Polynesian Cultural Center. I’m driving a baby blue Mustang that my roommate (and 4th grade teacher) had shipped from her home in San Jose, California. To paraphrase “The Blues Brothers,” there are 5000 miles from here to Pittsburgh, we’ve got a full tank of gas, it’s dark out and we’re wearing sunglasses. I left out the part about a half a pack of cigarettes since we didn’t smoke (the 60’s were almost over).
When we weren’t exploring our island, we could be found in our classrooms learning pidgin English, while trying to teach proper grammar. I’ll never forget one student who decorated his Open House folder with swear words. When I asked him why he did this, he said his Mother can’t read English. Actually, I’ll never forget all of my students that year. I hope they are happily married with children of their own. I hope they remember me fondly, too. Now the song “I’ll Remember You” is playing in my head. Perhaps I’ll return to Hawaii’s arms to stay some day.
How is all of this WW related? Well, I just demonstrated a visualization technique that took me to my happy place. Perhaps you can do the same. If I have gained a few pounds lately (which I have), I can blame it on the menehunes, the mischievous little people of Hawaii. Today, my plan is to get back on track. If can can. If no can, no can. If tracking doesn’t work right now, I’ll live by that Pidgin Philosophy for a few more weeks. Either way, I pau! Aloha nui loa.
Until next week, go to your happy place, but wear a mask.